you traded sex for a burrito?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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