So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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