Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
