Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
ok first of all what the fuck
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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