I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
