There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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