I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize