Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think your dad took our porno
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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