I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
