i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
