Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just pee around me
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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