i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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