i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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