I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so let's talk penis.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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