I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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