I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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