I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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