There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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