do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
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Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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