I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
