But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
