I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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