you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize