I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
