What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair