her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.