Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN