we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic