he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
