Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?