Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!