you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
