dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize