Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize