if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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