he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
