there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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