WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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