what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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