Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize