We named our party play list daddy issues
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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