how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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