a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
