can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale