I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
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It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
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And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
and you fell through a lawn chair