I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.