You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW