Is it normal to miss your booty call?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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