Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
