I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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