3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
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I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
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I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit