So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.