STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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