i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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