You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
