let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
