She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
