I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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