it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
