fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
