There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
