And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
