I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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