I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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