pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
