i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
