You can't motorboat a personality
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
