i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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