butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
