Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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