Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
