i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
