just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize